Note: While I am incredibly tempted to delete this post because it's not "perfect"...I am going to bite the bullet and keep it on here. This is part of my quest to be satisfied with my best effort. Hopefully my writing will improve the more I do it. Learn by doing, right? This is simply me, sitting at the computer, writing as it comes to me.
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The word "family" conjures different images for everyone. This time of year provides opportunities for families to gather and continue their experience together. For those who know me best, there's always two sides of the story. I begin with the most likely of the two, that of family discord. The family unit provides a natural and inescapable setting to learn about ourselves and develop those necessary qualities that ultimately form our character and qualify us for living a higher law. While the purpose of the project is perfect, it is easy to lose sight of the role in which we play. Our family relations touch us deeper than any other relations. A word of praise from a parent elevates the spirit beyond that of any common acquaintance. Likewise, a negative comment can pierce our very foundation. I've learned that expectations are one of the greatest causes of our own unhappiness. Consider that in the family setting: how often do we, as children, expect our parents to have all the answers and to have figured out all of life's mysteries? How different would our interactions be if we approached it with a spirit of allowing--allowing them to be where they are in life? We are becoming increasingly aware, as a global family, of our individual roles in healing our life and relationships. We have the incredible opportunity to be an agent for change in our family. While an entire novel could be dedicated to the subject, some simple ideas can be applied to begin the process: 1) Hold the image of each family member in your mind and heart and see them for the perfect spirit that they are. They are exactly where they need to be, learning exactly what they need to learn. Allow them to be where they need to be, and cheer them on from the sidelines. 2) Choose to experience each family gathering as a learning opportunity. What behavior or emotion are they mirroring back to you? These interactions, whether positive or negative, give us an idea of where we are emotionally and spiritually. "They" say that those things which bother us most in someone else are likely the things that bothers us most about ourselves. 3) Live in the spirit of Gratitude. In your heart, thank them for fulfilling this role for your benefit. Be grateful for such a perfect fundamental unit for your progression and growth. Remind yourself that there is purpose in your place in the family--its part of a perfectly orchestrated plan.
While the family generates the greatest feelings of sorrow, it also provides the greatest feelings of joy. Every night since she was born I have checked on my sleeping daughter before I go to bed. I kiss her cheek and as I gaze at her sleeping face, I am washed over with indescribable feelings of love and awe. For a perfect moment I am removed from the worries of the day, every burden and pain is lifted, and nothing else in the world exists. I feel as though I am experiencing a part of heaven and its perfect love. I am grateful for those moments and others like them that remind me why we're here. In the family we learn selflessness, patience, charity, teamwork, working for the greater good, gender roles, compassion and empathy. With an eternal perspective it is easier to forgive the mistakes of the past and move forward with purpose and gratitude. May your holidays be filled with the perfect love of Christ, and may you hold your families with you in that light.
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